The Nimble Mime Opinions. Expressions. Words.

Women and Visual Markers!

We live in a society which seems to be very biased towards one gender role. We talk about equality, we talk about parity but often we don’t try hard enough to change things which are being followed since ages. We aim to follow them for the sake of following and we also judge people who don’t follow them. At times, it is ironical that judgement often comes from women (and some curious men too).
One such bias in our Indian society is visual cues of getting married. Be it northern or southern, almost every region in India has some or the other norm for a married woman. Here, I am talking about the visual markers (sindoor,toe ring,mangal sutra to name few) that tell that a woman is married. The markers or the accessories that a married woman is expected to wear. To be noted, this expectation is hardly from her respective husband, most of the time it is from the society (read other women, Men don’t have time for such petty things).
This amuses me a lot. You might think it as feminism but it is not. It is a question without any valid answers.  Have you thought ever why is it important for women and not men? If women need a visual marker to announce the world that ‘they are taken’, why is that not required for men in our society? Why should a woman’s appearance change and not a man’s? 

You remain married from soul and no cues can prove that.

Just because something is happening since ages doesn’t prove anything. Situations and times make it right or wrong. 
Since, I am married to a wonderful man. I am asked the same question time and again (Of course, people got their answers as well). I have been looked upon as an alien as if I have committed some crime. People have told me that I don’t ‘look’ married. Why should I look married? I am married and I don’t have to scream it loud with my appearance.
At times, It becomes so awkward that awkwardness feels ashamed. And the cherry on top is, people asking such questions are often women. So, ladies, let’s try to change this because charity begins at home. 

About the author

Manisha Awasthi


CommentLuv badge

  • Right, this is the question i frequently ask people. even i tried to find out some "Visual makers" for men, there should be equal rules for both husband and wife. though change is an inevitable thing but some changes need time. once watching a movie i came to know that the concept of Sindoor has come from the ancient idea when men used to mark their wives by scratching their heads by knife, i dont know whether its true or not, but it matches to the color of sindur.

  • Your post is interesting an thought provoking. When I got married, my husband and I both wore a wedding ring, but that is the only marker people I know in the US wear–not all men wear wedding rings, though. It is still traditional for women to take their husband's name, though, dating back to the old days when women became their husband's property when they married. I chose not to change my name after asking myself some of the same kinds of questions you wrote about. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  • J here, of the #atozchallenge Arlee Bird's A to Z Ambassador Team.
    Have you enjoyed the challenge? Did you hop to other blogs? The end of the alphabet here! Reflections sign up is May 9– mark a calendar.
    My blog's giveaway is still going. I'm encouraging everyone to visit more stops.
    That's interesting.
    In America (or maybe in Christianity? I'm not sure…) both the husband and wife generally wear a wedding ring. I think it's a symbol of eternal love or unending love or something about circles. Left hand, unless you're Celtic, then it's the right.

    If you have a spare moment, I'd love insight:

  • I am not a bit surprised if whatever you saw in movie is true. Change is inevitable and it would take time but at times it gets frustrating to see that people still follow old age rules.

  • Thanks Susan for dropping by. I agree with what you saying and I think world wide rules are always different in illogical way when it comes to women and it is completely rational for us to not taking such rules forward.

  • Thanks for dropping by J. #atozchallenge is the best thing happened this April. This was my first time for the challenge and I am glad, I survived. I came across few very good blogs and I am going to mention them in my reflection post. But, altogether it was very good experience and I am already waiting for April 2017. 🙂

The Nimble Mime Opinions. Expressions. Words.