Women and Visual Markers!
We live in a society which seems to be very biased towards one gender role. We talk about equality, we talk about parity but often we don’t try hard enough to change things which are being followed since ages. We aim to follow them for the sake of following and we also judge people who don’t follow them. At times, it is ironical that judgement often comes from women (and some curious men too).
One such bias in our Indian society is visual cues of getting married. Be it northern or southern, almost every region in India has some or the other norm for a married woman. Here, I am talking about the visual markers (sindoor,toe ring,mangal sutra to name few) that tell that a woman is married. The markers or the accessories that a married woman is expected to wear. To be noted, this expectation is hardly from her respective husband, most of the time it is from the society (read other women, Men don’t have time for such petty things).
This amuses me a lot. You might think it as feminism but it is not. It is a question without any valid answers. Have you thought ever why is it important for women and not men? If women need a visual marker to announce the world that ‘they are taken’, why is that not required for men in our society? Why should a woman’s appearance change and not a man’s?
You remain married from soul and no cues can prove that.
Just because something is happening since ages doesn’t prove anything. Situations and times make it right or wrong.
Since, I am married to a wonderful man. I am asked the same question time and again (Of course, people got their answers as well). I have been looked upon as an alien as if I have committed some crime. People have told me that I don’t ‘look’ married. Why should I look married? I am married and I don’t have to scream it loud with my appearance.
At times, It becomes so awkward that awkwardness feels ashamed. And the cherry on top is, people asking such questions are often women. So, ladies, let’s try to change this because charity begins at home.